Optimal Efficiency Running Pace: Faster than you may think

Like an engine in an internal combustion automobile, the human body has an optimal rate of turnover to maximize the efficiency of energy usage. If that previous sentence didn't make much sense to you, fear not, I will give a quick real world analogy: if it takes more gas to make your car go faster, it will be mostly worth as far as gas is concerned it because you will be getting to your destination faster and thus burning overall less fuel. So you can burn more fuel for less time, or you can burn less fuel for more time, but at a certain point, you will have reached your peak efficiency where you will be balancing the amount of fuel that you are burning with the speed that you are going to overall burn the least amount of fuel getting to your destination.
Apparently, scientists applied all of their fancy calculations and measurements to human beings and found out the peak efficiency pace for running, a sport that is near and dear to our hearts. In the study, they found that on average, a male running at a 7:13 minutin miglia will achieve peak efficiency while a female will have to run 9:08 miglia. At these speeds, you can run a given distance and utilize the lowest amount of energy possible.
Now let's be honest here folks: when I run, I am not particularly worried about achieving max efficiency. In fact, to lose weight, it makes sense to achieve the least efficient stride, which by the way happens at a walk-run pace of 13:00 minutin miglia. However, these findings are somewhat interesting for longer races like the marathon, where the infamous "wall" is hit by depleting your energy stores.
I used some of my fancy academic connections to get a copy of the original study and will tell you, the data is surprisingly good. You would think that there would be a ton of variability, but there isn't. It seems that this max efficiency is pretty standard across humans. However, they also found that the efficicency was correlated with weight and height, meaning that different humans who look different will have different efficiencies. At the end of the day, I think that this study is really just pointing out a quantitative difference in how different sized people function: the further you are away from the norm, which is surprisingly standard, the more differently you perform.
Read (original study), Enjoy (yahoo! story), Comment (makes me feel human)!

Ed Note: That picture above was from a google image search of efficiency; apparently, it is a more efficient way to butter your toast.

Actual Attractive In-Home Gym

Recently, in an attempt to build up some muscles on these young arms, I bought some dumbbells for lifting. I use them a few times a week, but aside from those workouts, they remain sitting in a corner of my apartment hidden under a table, but yelling at everyone to look at them and gape at their ugliness and ability to ruin a finely decor-ed room. Indeed, in any house where weights will live, there has to be a whole separate room for the weights (A "Weight-Room," if you will) and gym equipment that will generally be the eyesore of the domicile. In New York, where apartments are cramped and space is at a premium, residents are often forced, as I am, to suck it up and have an unattractive set of weights sitting all up in their pieces.
LifeFitness, the popular treadmill company, seems to have realized that this is an opportunity for business expansion, and designed a new weight bench and set that is actually very nice looking! Like transformers, it morphs from an attractive leather-and-metal bench into an Olympic-capable weight bench with little compartments for young weights and a pullout bar and stand for bench-pressing and other such activities.
While sweating it out on a leather bench and then hosting people on a sweaty leather bench is somewhat tricky, I think that LifeFitness is onto something. It is just a concept now, but who knows, in the far flung future where the economy is actually good again, it may become a reality. Now if only they could come up with a way to disguise a treadmill as a hugeh plasma TV and hang it up on a wall.....

Go Fish!

Why is it so hard to motivate yourself to work out? Do we really need all these video games or ways of fooling ourselves into hitting the gym? When will the world rid itself of gimmicky exercise tools? Well, apparently not today.
From the imaginatively named "FitDeck" corporation comes these sets of "Exercise Playing Cards." There are decks ranging from the lame-oh "stretching" to the hard core "Navy Seal" to the oddly specialized "office" and "travel" that each will show you how to do certain exercises and a couple of little fun facts about them ("Sit ups hit the abs! Who knew!").
Despite the sadness that I felt when I saw that these cards didn't actually have the traditional "5 of clubs" or whatever designations (imagine your motivation in Gin if your next draw led to 25 pushups), I actually am sort of into them! I can definitely picture a scenario where myself and my exercise-motivation-challenged wifeness get our little mats out and then take turns picking cards and making the other person do them while we each maniacally laugh like the Joker after Batman smokes one of his exploding cigars and ends up with ash all over his face. Alternately, I can sit alone in my darkened apartment laughing maniacally while drawing my own cards and doing the exercises. Or just laughing maniacally alone in the dark. Sounds terrific!
Of course, the biggest problem with the cards is their cost. At $15 a pop, you are paying a pretty hefty fee to get the same information that you can find on the internet, but I guess the fun is that they are in card form. If you work for the company, hit me up about sending me a free sample so that I can get a good review up on here. And now you see the true reason I started this blog: the chance of possibly getting something for free.

LINK: FitDeck Exercise Cards

Hello Vomit

There are a ton of races out there, each one trying to have it's own little "hook." Some are based on the location of the race (The Lincoln Tunnel 5K! Run through the tunnel!) while others are based on the time (Emerald Nvts Midnight Run! Run at midnight on New Year's Eve!). Some, though, seem to be based on just getting a bunch of idiot college kids together and promoting vomit.
Recently, at North Carolina State University, students laced up their running shoes and embarked on the fifth annual Krispy Kreme Challenge, a race where student meet at some campus landmark, run two miglia to Krispy Kreme, eat a dozen glazed 'nuts, and then race the 2 miglia back, all in under an hour.
As many websites point out, a dozen glazed 'nuts from Krispy Kreme rings in at ~2400 calories with 144 grams of fat, while running 4 miglia may, at most, burn 500-600 calories. I assume, though, that most of the calories ingested are not actually absorbed as there has to be a healthy amount of vomiting going on.
The winner of this year's run finished in about 31:30, which is a moderatly respectible time considering that probably about 5 of those minutin were spent eating. I think, though, that time is not the point of the race. What is the point of the race, you ask? Who the hell knows. In college, we all did some moronic things, so let's just chalk this up to youthful exuberance, shall we? At least there is some charity generated, which should in theory offset the health costs of thousands of college kids coming in with heart attacks.

LINK: Krispy Kreme Challenge

Exercising yourself to death

Any runner is well aware that, by running, you are pretty much destroying your knees, ankles, feet, and other portions of your body. However, in general, you think that you are increasing your overall level of health to make your sorry life last longer. Not so much for a woman in rural Ohio.
Christine Newton-John, a post-op transsexual, was recently sentenced to 4 years in the pen for trying to exercise her husband to death. Indeed, shotty footage from a security camera shows the 30-year old Christine dragging her 70-year old husband around a pool while her elderly mother looks on placidly.
I bring this story up for a number of reasons: first of all, of all the ways to go, I think that exercising yourself to death would be one of the less pleasant methods of death. I like a good run as much as the next guy, but let's call a spade a spade here folks: for every ounce of enjoyment that I eek out of a run, I manage a pound by just sitting on my patoot watching Earth 2 over Netflix on my Xbox. Exercising so hard and for so long without even being able to look in the mirror or rub it in other's faces after the workout would be like death. In fact, it would be death.
Second, I am in pretty good shape these days. Can you imagine the type of exercise that you would have to do in order to kill me? I guess it would be as simple as cranking the treadmill up to 15 and handcuffing me to it, but I feel like my little heart would just keep pumping away before it finally fell to arrythmia and infarction.
Third, what was the mother doing there?!?!?! Why was she just sitting around being complicit in murder most vile! I guess that when you raise a transsexual who marries a man 40 years her senior and like in rural Ohio, these things arent as crazy as they sound.

LINK: Exercising to Death

Home Gyms: How-to repeat yourself

Looking around the internet, I see a great many fitness related articles that eventually find their way to my humble corner or the world wide web. One of the most common types of articles is the "how to set up a home gym for less!" article, which, as its name implies, goes through some of the ins and outs of fitness equipment for people who are looking to work out at home.
Well, this article is no different. With the sole exception of having a shining moment of comedy and pointing to the ridiculous gadgets out there, its main selling point is that it is on a good blog.
The article basically concludes that the best way to set up a home gym is to start cheap and not get anything that promises a "new way to exercise!" or some similar thing. I can share with you from my experience that this is really the way to go; I bought a nice cheap adjustable set of weights a while ago and a few of those rubber bands to go with the pilates mat that I have already and I am totally set. With exercise-on-demand channels popping up everywhere, not to mention workout DVD from netflix streaming service to my xbox, there is no dearth of instruction about how to get a nice little weight-pilates-body resistance type of workout going. Together with the cheapest form of exercise, you have yourself a nice little setup. Now, the real challenege becomes motivating yourself to get up in there every day, to which no matter what the gimmick, people find ways around.
LINK: How to Set Up A Home Gym

Stupid Human Tricks: Drafting

In most sports where the main competitions are called "races," any method to eke out an extra ounce of speed is investigated and subsequently enacted. In swimming, they shave their bodies or wear insane suits to cut down on the hydro-resistance. In equestrian, they miniaturize the riders until they look like little children and speak with voices two pitches too high to be heard by homosapiens. One method, though, that seems to be used in many sports is drafting.
Drafting, as we all learned in the post-coital bliss scene of Days of Thunder, is when you line up directly behind one of your competitors so that they have spend some of their force cutting through the still air in front of them leaving you trailing at the same speed, but with some power in reserve since you are simply riding in his wake and don't have to cut the cheese yourself. Indeed, it is pretty effective at higher speeds and is a legit method to gain an edge in competition.
It is not, however, especially pleasant for the person who everyone lines up behind. Not only are they using their energy for their competitors benefits, but because the drafters have to be really close behind the draftee, the draftee is subject to rear-ending whiplash induction if he even thinks about stepping on the brakes. Indeed, in cycling, they even have the pleasant nickname "wheelsuck," which is often used in the context of, "If you wheelsuck me again, I will kick yo' ass!"
Regardless of whether it is enjoyable or not, drafting at high speeds is unquestionably effective. However, in running, I question the effectiveness of this tactic. I can't imagine a less aerodynamic form than the upright human body, and whether behind or in front, there is going to be a substantial amount of wind resistance against it. Moreover, while the tactic may work at 30mph or 180mph, I doubt that there are significant savings at 7-8mph.
It is with this in mind that I irately recount the story of a recent run in the park where, after turning up the tempo for about half mile, I slowed it down for a couple hundred meters. As I stopped pushing and started coasting, a group of 3 runners shouldered me out of the way while our legs got entwined. I almost went down, but saved myself with some quick balancing movies, which is more than I can say for those idiots.
I stopped for a second and asked them if they were alright, to which they replied that I shouldn't just slow down like that without telling the people drafting me what my intentions were. I was, as I usually am, a little out of it so I just mumbled my apologies and scurried away, but it is pretty reprehensible that, not only were they stupidly tailing me so closely as to cause possible injury, but that they actually thought that they were in the right and I was in the wrong and that drafting was some common practice in running. We weren't even racing; it was just a daily maintenance run!
In retrospect, these morons' fancy technical shirts with all the logos still cohesively printed and gleaming sneaks probably signified their newness to the sport, which, along with just being jerks, is probably the explanation for their behavior. However, I still am a little miffed by this altercation.
What do you think? Do I have a reason to be mad? Does drafting work well? Comment and make me feel like I actually have an audience, modest as it is!

The Rage of a Thousand Suns (Updated!)

One of my and most people's main reasons for running, besides the health benefits, is that it is a nice time to relax and rest my mind. Shutting off my conscious thought processes whilst long-ago memorized songs blur out the sounds of the yuppies and puppies surrounding me is almost a requirement for my continued sanity. I think that all runners and readers out there know of the caginess that accompanies the stretches where running goes by the wayside; a feeling caused as much by excess energy as by a cluttered brain.
It is thus especially irritating when something gets in the way of my run. Now let's call a spade a spade, folks: I understand that running for an hour a day is not a necessity above all others. A luxury definitely, but I also live in the real world where sometimes things come up.
It is in front of this background that I bring you my story of rage from a few days ago looking for commiseration. There I was, running down my numbered street en route to the park as I always do, new sneaks on my footpads and a new mix on my Shuffle, when I see blazing lights on the horizon. As I approached, I saw the telltale "Haddad's" trucks lining the streets and hipsters speaking self importantly in walkie talkies that signify one of the great annoyances in New York: the filming of a movie.
New York City is a vibrant city that capitalizes on its excitement by allowing movies to feature it as a backdrop to many movies. Indeed, the movie production companies have to pay a pretty penny to shut down the streets, money that ends up subsidizing a lot of the great city programs that I do not take advantage of. I understand in theory why it is so awesome that they make movies in New York. In practice, however, it is a huge hassle.
As I entered the realm of the movie making area, I saw that the stairs into the park were a mere 50 feet from my position. I put a frown and scowl on my face and dodged that slack jawed PAs to enter the park relatively unfazed. On my return trip, however, I was headed up one of the main thoroughfares only to be greeted my some stubble-having slanted-beanie-wearing schmuck standing in my way. I tried to dodge, but he put out his scrawny arms and I saw his pale skinny lips moving. With my anger starting to boil, I stopped, took off my headphones, and angrily asked him what the problem was.
"You can't go down the street, we are filming," he said in a bored monotone, as if I was supposed to know or care about this world-changing event.
"What do you mean, it is a public street," I replied angrily. Some fellow citizens who had also been turned away cautiously nodded in approval and two cops standing around watching the action began to meander over.
"The street is closed," the jerk movie man said. "We are filming."
"So what am I supposed to do, just wait until you are done to continue north in the city?"
"Why don't you go to the park and finish up there," the cops said sympahtetically. "They shouldn't be too much longer." They glared at the movie guy, but walked away. I turned around and went back into the park, but my pace and pulse were sky-high as my rage boiled with the fury of a thousand white hot suns.
Why do they have to interrupt my run? Why do they have to ruin my life? Why does the movie PA have to be such a smug asshole? It's a crappy Lucy and Desi biopic, not the cure to cancer for for the sake of the gods. I eventually calmed down and actually had a pretty good run back in the park, but the alteraction stayed with me. I think that had I been just strolling down the street on a vigorous constitutional, I would not have been nearly so put out. However the fact that I was in my own zone, relaxing my stress away, to be interrupted by some cocky shitbox is what fueled the supernova of my rage.
Have you ever felt emotions like I did? Have you seen this movie being filmed? have you ever been thwarted in your runs by jorks and grimps like this? Comment away!

UPDATE! Today, while running on the same route and thankfully not being interrupted by the so-called "production staff," I saw that one of the doors to the trailers was open. Slowing my pace, I glanced in while passing the open door to see none other than one of my favorite actors, John C Reilly. Peeking at IMDB, I notice that Reilly is listed as being in two movies that are currently in production, one being set in New York! "The Extra Man," as it is now called will be about a jigalo in New York or some stupid thing that will surely be in theaters for a week before it is sent right to DVDs, if those still exist at that point in the future. Interestingly, the movie also stars scientology-brain-washed stepford wife, Katie Holmes. Holmes, as you may remember, ran in the New York marathon. I would thus think that she would be a little more forgiving to runners, but hey, maybe Xenu told her not to be.

Cool Runnings Mon: A Look Back at the Winter Pt 1 (nontraditional injuries)

In a blatant show of anachronistic belief, clocks across the eastern seaboard sprung forward last weekend to allow farmers more sunlight for plowing and cropping and whatnot, and also to signify the end of the long dark New England winter. With spring sort of here and winter mostly gone, let us go on a fond stroll down memory lane and take a look back at some of the most talked about "conditions" of running in the winter in a multiple-part RDAD-exclusive series titled "Cool Runnings Mon: A Look Back at the Winter."
In the summer, we often try to make ourselves feel better about the weather by matter-of-factly stating that "it's not the heat, it's the humidity" that causes us so much discomfort. In the winter, a similar state of affairs also holds. Indeed, it is not jut the cold, but rather the arid night air that cuts through our hearts and mangles our souls. It is this dry air that leads to a special brand of winter pain and suffering that are as much intertwined with the season as heat stroke is with the summer.
Running through the dry air doesn't seem so bad at the beginning. In fact, nothing seems so bad at the beginning of a cold run because you are so fucking cold that you just want to run as fast as you can to get it over with. However, around mile 3 or 4, when you are nice and settled into your groove and your skin is red enough to numb out most of the temperature, you start to notice that your lips are taking a lot of licking to stay moist and your schnoz is starting to burn a little bit with each breath that passes through those green mucusy gates. Again, at that point, you just want to run as fast as you can to get back into the warm confines of a zippering acorn to rest your squirrel bones.
That night, though, as you settle into a your warm acorn-sack for the evening, you notice that your skin is insanely itchy. Running your paws over your legs and torso, it feels dry to the touch and rough like sand paper. Even worse, your lips are starting to get a hard coating over them and, when you smile too much at Andrew Dice Clay's antics on The Celebrity Apprentice, they crack. The next morning, you hop in the shower and your nose starts to bleed as soon as the hot water hits it, leaving blood to intermingle with snot in your beard and creating perhaps the perfect red dye for right over your cracked lips. With tissues stuffed up your nose like so much stuffing in a Christmas goose, you put on your extra warm clothes and head out for another day in the cold, dark, dry wasteland of the city.
While we runners usually fret over shin splints or runner's knee or other physical ailments, it is not just the legs that take a pounding out there. In the heart of the summer, when you break a sweat walking to the park before you even start running and yearn for the cold again, remember your sad dry skin and cracked beaks and think again. While each season comes with its own brand of running hardship, winter certainly carries some of the worst.
What else do you remember about running in the winter? It's tough, right? Lay it on me in the comments, mon!

How to buy cheap sneaks

With the financial turmoil reaching a fevered pitch these days, many people including myself are looking to scrimp and save in any way they possibly can. Eating Kraft Mac and Cheese instead of Annie's organic, drinking Shop-rite brand cola-flavored carbonated beverage instead of Boylans, and going to McDowels instead of McDonalds have all been relatively painless changes in daily life, but as my current sneaks are nearing their end of active duty, I have had to begin the search in earnest for a new more economical pair.
Normally, it's a bit of a no-brainer buying new sneaks. Whatever model I had before, I get again, perhaps opting for the newer version this time around. However, with my normal Gel Kinseis clocking in at about $180, I decided that it was time to start examining other options. After a lengthy search, I settled on a pair of Asics Gel 1130s, which after shipping and all, come in saving me about $140. During my quest for frugality (my wife calls it cheapness derisively), I discovered that there was a real art to finding nice runable sneaks without breaking the bank or ending up in a pair of used canvas Keds. Attached below, please find a set of tips designed to help you out of your rotting old kicks without having to apply for TARP funding.

1. Shop around! Back in the day, this probably meant going to a bunch of different stores and spending the entire day running around the city. These days, things are much simpler: you just type in the kind of shoes that you want a million different buying options pop up. Pick the least expensive! It's easy! If they are the same model and make, there is no reason to spend more to get them from a high-end retailer, so just get them from store X. Your shame will justified when you buy your friends a round of inexpensive domestic light beer using your savings.

2. Go for last year's model! Especially with brands like Asics, every year brings a new updated model of each sneaker line. Often, the improvements are minimal or cosmetic, but costly. It's OK not to get the new composite upper or improved cushioning foam; the old stuff did well by you for a long time. Don't be lured in by the higher numbers only to get nipped by the higher prices. Think like running, not base-a-ball: the lower the number, the better you will do.

3. Stick to the same brand! When any company gains an expertise in something, they don't sequester all of their people and put them on the high end projects. The budget Asics are still Asics, and are still made with the same general principles as the high end ones. True, they may not be hand made or built to the specifications of elite runners or have DVDs all up in the headrests, but they are still Asics and will still serve you well.

4. Ugly is OK! In general, due to the glut of runners shopping for new sneakers, the good looking ones often sell out first. Then, the sort of ugly ones go, and finally resting alone on the shelves like my ugly self did in junior high, are the ugly ones. Eventually, those shoes get put on sale and, though they are as good as the nice looking ones, sell for much cheaper. That presents opportunity for you! Buy those ugly suckaz! Give them a good home! When I was on the wrestling team in high school, the best wrestlers had the ugly shoes, so take solace in that: prove yourself on the road and no one will mock your fashion choices.

5. Go Brick and Mortar! While internet shopping is as easy as can be, if you actually get your snout out and go to the running store, you can probably save some additional buckaroos. Not only will you not have to pay for shipping and handling, but most running stores will give you additional discounts for being a member of the local running club. These things add up, and before you know it, you will have an extra $20 in your pochet, and you leave the store with the sneaks in hand instead of waiting for super saver shipping, where I think they guy actually wears your sneakers while running from the factory to you. The downside of this, of course, is that being in a running store and not buying the additional running kit there is difficult, but resist.

A small caveat: never EVAR buy used running shoes. Not only do they stink, but they will have the cushioning already broken down to someone else's running style, which can mean instant injury for you. Come on people, we're looking to save, but let's not get crazy here.

Got any other money saving tips? Send 'em in to the comments! Good to be back!